To allow the full creative expression to flow through your being is one of the most pleasurable experiences a human can have, but also, for many, one of the scariest or most elusive.
Of course besides the general societal squashing around creativity, there are very personal reasons for an individual to have shut down creatively in their lives.
1. You don’t feel safe to be seen in your authenticity/essence
It’s all about being seen. Are you scared of being seen, of being vulnerable? I find there is usually ongoing trauma around this for so many. It isn’t always about creative expression, it could simply be your pure essence was rejected either for real, or from your perspective.
Maybe you were never allowed to speak your truth, or have your true feelings, especially negative feelings, in your upbringing. Maybe you were told to let others shine and not be showoff. Or maybe you grew up somewhere feeling like you didn’t fit in, and you had to hide your differences to belong.
It could be a lot of things from something seemingly very small to more obvious, heavy abuse.
2. You have feelings of shame
Were you shamed, humiliated or devalued when you let your true self out?
If you were shamed when you stepped out creatively – publicly or privately, or even once by a parent, sibling or peer…it could be enough for you to create patterns of failure, self rejection and self sabotage as an adult.
3. You are wearing a mask and you don’t know it
Maybe you were taught to express from a mask or image of yourself to please others….so your true self is still hidden, and you’ve been doing it for so long, making it almost impossible to feel the real current of authentic creativity and life force that is YOU.
Oftentimes it can feel like a real mystery as to why you have so much fear around your creative expression.
All you know is, that where others feel free to express, you are stuck. This creates ongoing frustration and shame.
4. You feel overwhelmed by the immensity of the creative energy
In my work with sensitive and spiritual people, almost always, the creative energy that flows through feels a little or a lot too big. Because there isn’t a healthy frame of reference, or context in which the creative person to thrive in society, a person can go right to snuffing out the immensity of the creative force with a vice: netflix, facebook, ice cream, research, socializing, eating, drugs and alcohol or any other distraction.
The vision or mission gets bigger, then so does the pressure, then the actions get smaller and the vices grow.
Learning to channel the creative energy is a process, a process of learning how to slow down and experience the energy in all forms of its manifestation. Otherwise grandiosity, not knowing how to take the next small step, and sabotage all start to come into play.
TRANSFORMING SABOTAGE PATTERNS with a HEALTHY FRAME OF REFERENCE
It doesn’t really matter what the source of the sabotage is, it can all be uncovered and rewired so you can be free. The unraveling of these wounds can take some time, and you will need a safe environment so you can start authentically expressing and creating. You will also need to develop a solid frame of reference for your gifts.
A healthy frame of reference is created by 4 main things:
1. The repetitive experience of feeling safe in your authentic expression, while being witnessed
2. Learning what authentic expression actually feels like, so that when you go out in the world you can hear both positive and negative feedback without being too affected.
3. The tracking and slowing down of the energy to allow for step by step creation.
4. Being seen and loved when your habitual defense pattern appears, helping you to catch your patterns of self sabotage in the moment, so you can shift them.
These 4 experiences create a healthy inner creative state, where you then have more faith in the actual life force inside you, than the external obstacles you will face, where you will understand how to take your ideas and visions step by step and delight in each stage.
In general the role of creative energy deserves much more attention and respect. If the true essence and life purpose of each human were nurtured from the get go, life would make a lot more sense! At best the artist is a healer and record keeper for society, at worst an artist can be the opposite – perpetuating negative social trends, overcome with addiction and feeling out of place in this world.
It is my aim to be a part of shifting this, of creating safe and inspiring spaces for the artist as healer to thrive.