In what form does meditation come to you?
Finding inspiration is sometimes a challenge, if the noise in your mind is dominating the love in your heart! I find myself in this constant battle, the noise gets so loud, and my heart whispers the truth. When the noise gets unbearable I usually start writing! Writing has always been in a form of mediation for me, in my journal, in my blog, sometimes even on a random napkin or receipt. Getting the noise out of my mind and on to paper usually brings me back to my heart, and the messages I really need to hear!
Oh how the noise can be endless. We all have it. Can you relate to these conversations in your mind?
“When’s he/she going to call?”
“What if he/she doesn’t call?”
“That interview was terrible.”
“I will never get that job.”
“Did I forget to lock the door?”
“Did I leave too much of a tip?”
“What is she looking at?”
“If I go to the doctor, I will get bad news!”
“Should I really buy this dress?”
Men and women the same, I am sure go through the whole day asking, and answering questions and having full silent conversations. That affects our nervous systems and causes stress and concern for no reason at all. What I have been personally working on in my journey is the conversation of “Control!” When I get an idea or make a plan, and something goes wrong, that’s when the noise is the worst!
I want to share with you a story, when mediation didn’t just come to me in a form of writing; it came to me in a form of silence and peace.
In the last few years I have been randomly, “trying” to meditate, trying to silence the chatter, trying to see the colors “they” speak of, trying to hear the messages from the greater universe. If you are “trying” to mediate and embark on a habit of silence, seeking guidance definitely is helpful in this process!
My Story to Share:
5 years ago, I began a relationship with my partner; it was far from a simple, dating getting to know each other situation. During this time, I was in FEAR, of being deported back to Canada. (Take note of the word FEAR!) Not a great way to start a relationship at all. My “GUY” was at that time the most uncommitted human ever! A local NYC musician, living his travel dreams, chasing United States music venues and ladies. I tried to hold on for dear life, feeling that if I could just get him to change, then my FEAR of being deported would vanish and the answer would come in a marriage certificate.
This to any man, I am sure would be a red flag! But, there was something special about this new relationship. We had real feelings of love and admiration for one another, but pressuring this relationship to move at a rapid speed was not the answer! (Deep in my heart I knew this, but my noise was too loud to hear it!)
The panic over came me, and the stress was overwhelming, and for labeling myself as a care free, go with the flow, free spirited Aries, this situation was changing me.
My “Guy” spent most of his time “on Tour!” and I spent most of my time worrying about my status. It would be hours and I wouldn’t hear from him, I would text and get nothing back, I would call and it would go right to voicemail. (Red Flags: He’s just not that into me!?)
In a moment, my noise and control, let my heart speak louder and that’s when I put my phone on silent, I lit a candle, I laid flat on my bed, I put my palms to the sky, and started to breathe.
With each breath I could feel my body sink heavier into the mattress, with each, exhale I felt like I was releasing the fear that brought me to that moment.
After what was 10 minutes, but felt like a timeless flow, I opened my eyes, I said thank you, trusting that what would be, would be. As I slowly picked up my phone, it was ringing. “My Guy” was calling! As I answered, his first words were “I miss you!” I remember we spoke for hours that night, he told me all about his shows, who he met, what moments reminded him of me, and that most of all he missed me.
This lesson/message, has stayed with me since then, and it touched me so deeply, that with just a few breathes my heart spoke to the Universe, and the Universe gave me what I needed.
What will you do, when your noise gets too loud?
“How can victory be won without spiritual war and patience? Give proof of patience! Faith is the Key to Joy.” – Rumi
Meaning: Trust that a happy out come is bound to come in time.
Now 5 years later, I am married to “My Guy” and with a little trust and some deep breathes, our story keeps growing!
With much love!